In a season of change, the beautiful thing about Lucy is how consistent and true she stays to herself, her family, and her God. She continues to pursue Him and chooses to see Him in all her seasons, high and low, and always manages to do so with a smile. -Darcee
I feel like I was just in this season. Yet here she is again. And again, here I am trying to know God more and more in the midst of a lot of uncertainty.
Change. Three years ago, I endured a season of change when I moved to Waco to attend Baylor (sic’ em). I didn’t know anyone, struggled with finding community, leaving home, and struggled with the idea of a chapter of my life closing and a new one opening. Well, I am there again! Now I am graduated, about to move to Houston to start a first-grade teaching job. During all of these changes, things at home are changing too, and it is scary to think of leaving home at a time like this.
To be honest, my lack of faith right now. This season has been really challenging, and I know that the only constant, consistent, and always present aspect of my life is Jesus. I remember my youth pastor in high school once said, “If dependence is the goal, then weakness is the advantage.” Why, yes, it is. Now that I am aware of my weakness in a time of change, I have been more motivated to spend time with the Lord and get to know Him more. Nothing is more comforting than knowing that He is not changing, and neither are His words or His plans.
Last year, I remember feeling like I did quiet time wrong. I know that sounds silly, but I really thought I was missing the ball. I used to read blogs about what other people did and try to mimic that, but then I realized, it doesn’t matter. God meets me exactly where I am. I don’t have to have an Instagram perfect set-up. He will meet me anywhere at any time in any set-up.
Lately, my quiet time with Him has been inconsistent, but always the best part of my day. Typically, I will grab a cup of coffee, sit down at my kitchen table, and open up a Bible study I am doing, along with my Bible. I will usually do my day’s homework for Bible study and then write in my journal. I don’t follow a system for what I write, but usually I just write anything and everything I want off of my chest. Prayers, struggles, praises, etc. I always get more out of my time with God if I remove my phone. If my phone is nearby and vibrates, I lose any kind of focus I had. I also spend a lot of time with God when I am driving. I have been driving back and forth between Katy, Houston, Waco and Brenham all summer, and I’ll listen to a sermon or worship music throughout the drive. Sometimes I find myself getting more out of that time than anything else.
During this season, there are a lot of days that I really have to preserve. Often, I find myself looking up and asking, “where are you?” and feeling like David in Psalms asking, “why have you forsaken me?” But then, I also remember this psalm: “But I will trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praises, for He has been good to me” (Psalm 13:5-6). During this season, I cling to that. There isn’t anything else in the world that will get me through this season. In the midst of the change and the scary health issues with both of my parents, I have to cling to my consistent, all-knowing Father, who loves me so much that He gave His life for me. And I know that He will make all things work together for my good, and for yours too.
Whatever season you are in, Jesus is there with you too.
This post is part of the Summer of Seasons that Darcee and I are hosting. Our hope is that as others share about seeking God in their particular season of life, we would all be encouraged to know and love and seek after the Lord more in our daily lives.
